In this blog post, I’ve safeguarded individuals’ privacy by altering or omitting any identifying details in the personal anecdotes shared. My aim is not to cast individuals in a negative light but to highlight common workplace challenges and provide strategies for overcoming them.
“Is your presentation going to take long? It’s all going to be irrelevant anyway!” Those were the words of a colleague only minutes before I had to deliver a major presentation at a staff meeting.
Have you ever had the unfortunate experience of dealing with “negative people” in the workplace? Did you take it personally? Indeed, these harmful interactions can occasionally be a fact of life. However, it can be exceptionally tough to deal with this type of negativity every day.
Throughout my decades of work experience in different locations and industries worldwide, I’ve developed a tool to navigate encounters with negative people: The SHIELD Approach.
The Root of Negativity
Before we delve into the SHIELD Approach, it’s crucial to grasp the root of the negativity. Research suggests negative information carries much more weight than positive information. It significantly impacts our judgment, drive, behavior, emotions, bodily functions, recall, focus, and general awareness. Termed “negativity bias,” this phenomenon is well-known in psychology and backed by evidence in other academic fields.
Negativity from people can vary in form and intensity, and based on my life experiences, I can decidedly place it into three distinct categories: the gossip guru, the cunning critic, and the perpetual pessimist.
The Gossip Guru
Workplace gossip spreads through various channels such as emails, social media, or verbal communication.
While pursuing my undergraduate degree, I took on various part-time jobs. I remember a new supervisor who spawned scrutiny and continuous speculation. Whispers about his decisions echoed throughout the workplace hallways, and I witnessed the organization’s culture suffer.
From the get-go, the Gossip Guro decided the new boss was not qualified for his role and based her continuous rumor-spreading on this belief. His perceived weaknesses continually overshadowed his achievements.
The Cunning Critic
Although it is not always comfortable, there are ways to benefit from constructive criticism in the workplace. You receive feedback, plan actionable steps, and eventually achieve your goal if you stick to it.
Destructive criticism, on the other hand, often stems from an individual or even a group’s agenda.
I vividly recall a team meeting when one of my colleagues, whom I’ll refer to as ‘Steven,’ shared a brilliant idea for improving our productivity in a specific area. However, instead of receiving constructive feedback, ‘Steven’ was met with skepticism and criticism from a key member. I remember him feeling upset to the point where he was in tears.
Seemingly, the criticism originated from the individual’s need to justify his position in the organization rather than for the good of the presenter.
The Perpetual Pessimist
This individual tends to perceive everything through a negative lens. At a previous workplace, a colleague, whom we’ll refer to as Nicole, always seemed to have a negative outlook. Whether it was a new initiative from head office, small talk with an employee, or the pettiest issue, she would don a hostile look and deliver a slew of negative words.
It was a challenge for everyone in the workplace, and no one knew what to do about it. As a result, it continued for years.
The SHIELD Approach: How to Deal with Negative People
Now, let’s dive into the strategies. I will offer you a toolkit to navigate encounters with the gossip guru, cunning critic, or perpetual pessimist. And it is used on the spot! Introducing the SHIELD approach:
S – Stay Calm
H – Hear Their Story
I – Inject Positivity
E – Empathize
L – Limit Interaction: Set boundaries and limit your time engaging with negative individuals.
D – Discuss Directly: Address negative behavior or comments directly and assertively but respectfully.
Now, let’s delve deeper into each component of the Shield Approach and explore how they empower you to deal with negative people in the workplace.
Stay Calm
Maintain your composure, whether the negativity is directed towards you or elsewhere. In my experience, it has never helped to show emotion when facing a negative person. How you respond to such a situation plays a pivotal role in diffusing or escalating the situation.
Very early in my career, I worked for a large company. There, I sold investments, approved loans, and dealt with some of the most challenging people I could have imagined.
The company routinely recorded client phone calls as a method of professional development for their employees. Every Friday, I would sit with my supervisor in a dedicated room and listen to a few recorded phone calls to pinpoint opportunities for improvement. I was astonished by the way my voice came across. I spoke too fast, didn’t sound confident, and was slightly out of breath after keeping a customer on a painfully long hold.
From that point forward, I have been intentional with my voice’s tone, speed, and volume during these unexpected crucial situations.
You need to be intentional. Take a deep breath, use a calm voice, maintain regular eye contact, and relax your body movements. These techniques indicate to the negative person that you are resilient and will not cave into their negativity.
Hear Their Story
As basic as it sounds, listening to the negative person’s concerns will pay dividends. Hear them out without interruption. You’d be surprised how much this can work. People like to think that their thoughts and opinions are essential. We should hear each person’s voice regardless of how negative it might be!
I vividly recall my experience serving as a mediator during challenging workplace situations. Sometimes, my colleagues could book an appointment with me to complain about an issue within the organization, such as a conflict with a coworker. Other times, individuals simply sought to be understood without seeking any further action.
I will never forget sitting with a colleague who articulated a specific grievance. While he was speaking, I listened with empathy through my eye contact, nodding, saying the occasional “mm-hmm,” and not interrupting him. At the end of the meeting, I asked him if he would like to discuss the different options for taking action. Surprisingly, he indicated that he simply wanted to explain the situation to a person in confidence, and that was it.
Inspire Positivity
A sprinkle of positivity pays dividends throughout your interactions with negative people. Long ago, I experienced two individuals who fed off each other’s negativity. These pessimistic talks would occur nearly every workday in the staff room. Unfortunately, no one has dealt with this issue, and has continued indefinitely.
Although it is necessary to acknowledge their perspectives, it is even more critical to provide the opportunity to see the bright side. In other words, rather than perpetuating the negativity, you can say something like this: “I understand what you mean, but have you considered looking at it another way?”
Sometimes, a smile and a sense of humor can go a long way. Maintaining friendliness and treating the negative person the same as others will certainly pay off in the long run. The last thing you want is to come across as someone who will cave into the negativity by either fighting it or contributing to it.
Providing a viable, well-thought-out solution is a powerful way to eradicate negativity in a given situation. This technique leaves the pessimist with nothing to complain about and allows everyone involved to move on.
Empathize
Although you disagree with the negative person’s perspective, you must be perceived as an individual who listens, supports, and refrains from judgment.
As mentioned earlier, people generally want to feel important. Although it was early in my professional journey, I vividly recall when a customer stormed into my office in response to a mistake that a customer service officer from another branch had made.
With an annoyed tone, he told me that his check had bounced because of a bank error, which caused him a great deal of embarrassment. In the same breath, he expressed his despise for banks.
With a concerned look, I nodded and said, “That must have been embarrassing! I would certainly feel the same way if that had happened to me. Let me grab your file, and I’ll see about fixing this problem here and now.”
When I returned to my office, he was seated, ready to listen, and had a much more pleasant look on his face. Undoubtedly, showing genuine empathy and willingness to find a solution allowed him to change his tune.
Whether you say, “I understand what you mean,” “I know where you are coming from,” or “I get how that can be frustrating,” can diffuse a situation and allow the other party to back off.
Limit Interaction
If negative interactions persist, limit engagement with the source. This technique does not mean ignoring or avoiding the individuals; rather, it means minimizing the time spent with them.
In my case, I always did my best to position myself away from any possible conversations with negative people in the staff room. Sitting with people I knew were positive, nonjudgmental, and easy to talk to was a simple way to enjoy my lunch!
Discuss Directly
One of the most effective components of this approach is having a direct discussion with the so-called negative person. People are not mind readers, and avoiding the situation will perpetuate it. Engaging in these honest conversations can, if executed with the other component of the SHIELD Approach in mind, reveal the root cause of your coworker’s negativity.
Applying the SHIELD Approach
So, let’s return to my coworker’s off-the-cuff remark I had brought up earlier: “Is your presentation going to take long? It’s all going to be irrelevant anyway!”
Rather than taking it personally, I listened to his concern. The words, which I could have perceived as a backhanded comment, were probably based on a negative experience. In a calm voice, I told him that I thought he would find the session helpful but that there was also an option not to attend.
Despite the pessimistic attitude, he attended the session and participated.
What happened after the presentation is something I will never forget. My colleague approached and patted me on the back while commending me for doing such a great job. The truth is, when I look back, he was never negative about me as a presenter. Instead, he commented on his experience with previous workshops in other locations.
The situation could have escalated if I had not followed the SHIELD Approach. In retrospect, I could react negatively; however, this smart decision benefited all parties!
What are your thoughts on the topic?